About Me

On a mission to spam the spammers. With spam.

Friday, 10 August 2012


Initial Message:

From: software_innovations5@jinxtea.com
Subject: I might be insane for doing this
To: the_niesche@hotmail.co.uk
Date: Thu, 9 Aug 2012 11:32:08 -0400

Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today, but I don't care anymore because I think it's just the right thing to do.
First off, thank you so much for taking a minute to read this, my name is Tim Bekker, and I'm a millionaire that was dared to do something insane today, and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take advantage of this:

As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away an in-depth Internet "Money Training Package" to some interested people today. I should be selling this for $97, but...I'm flat out going to give it to you. Your cost is zero... zip... zilch!
Press here before I have no more to give out:

You probably think I've lost my mind - and maybe I have - but just visit this site right now and in 5 minutes you'll have this awesome $97 Internet business training kit as my gift to you. No kidding!
Press here to Grab it quick - right now - before I change my mind...:

Why am I giving this away?
I finally got so sick and tired of watching fakers and bigmouths sell wrong information about how to make a fortune online... that I've decided give away my awesome Internet Money Training Package so I can help people finally get the truth!
See... I've made a fortune online and I've helped many people unlock the secrets to getting started online - the right way.

Press here to Grab it quick - right now - before I change my mind...:

Now, I'm giving away my $97 Internet Money Training Packageso you can get the inside secrets about how to make your own Internet fortune.
But you must grab this right now!

Press here before they are all gone:

Thank you so much for your time!

Tim Bekker


Hey Tim! Tim Tim Tim Tim TIM! Calm down love. Catch your breath. It's ok, no one is going to hurt you, i'm here to help. That's right love just put the keyboard down slowly, that's it well done. Sit down, let's just sit down over here and have a chat. Do you like coffee Tim? Would you like a nice cup of coffee Tim? Ok i'll get that sorted for you, you just sit here and i'll make us both a nice coffee and then we'll have a chat ok my love?

Right here you are.....CAREFUL it's still quite hot. Tell you what why don't i pop it down here on the floor and we'll have it in a minute when it's cooled down a bit, is that ok? Ok, just relax Tim you're going to be fine. No, they're not going to take you away, no no it's fine love the men are just there in case you pick up the keyboard again that's all, but we're just having a chat aren't we Tim? We're not thinking about typing emails at the moment are we? No, that's good. No no don't worry, i'm not going to click the link, it's ok i understand, i know Tim i know you were just thinking it might be nice to share the link with somebody new weren't you? Yes i know love, it's absolutely fine don't worry about it now, it's in the past isn't it? It's ok just relax.

Tim. Tim. TIM, wait Tim there's no need for that is there? TIM! PUT DOWN THE KEYBOARD! TIM, PUT IT DOWN, Tim! That's it, put it back on the floor, no more typing today ok? That's right no more typing today, ok breathe, that's it just breathe, deep breaths Tim that's it. No you're not insane Tim, nobody is calling you that are they? Those men aren't saying it, i'm not saying it, it's ok Tim nobody thinks you're insane, you're not smearing shit all over the walls or pretending this sofa is a giraffe are you? You're not walking round with fuck all on hitting yourself with a plastic fish are you? Or laying down humping the floor in the middle of Tescos? Or asking passers by if they can see your 'naughty bottom'.

It's ok Tim. Just relax. Are you ready to stand up? Are you ready to go back inside? Ok let's go back inside and carry on with what you were doing before. No more emails today Tim that's right. No it's fine love, nobody thinks that of you. Of course we all like you, don't we all like Tim everyone? You see, everyone likes Tim, you've got lots of friends and family that love and care for you. It's ok Tim, that's it in you go. Well done Tim, well done, you see you're fine now aren't you? Well done Tim.

See you later Tim, yes that's right i'll see you tomorrow i'll be back in the morning. See you Tim, take care.

You fucking lunatic.

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