About Me

On a mission to spam the spammers. With spam.

Thursday, 28 June 2012

'Missy'

Initial Message:

Date: Mon, 4 Jul 2011 01:21:12 +0800
From: misscynthiamusa01@gmail.com
Subject: Dear Beloved One
To:

Dearest,

I know this mail will come to you as a surprise since we haven't known or come across each other before considering the fact that I sourced your email contact through the Internet in search of trusted person who can assist me.

I am Cynthia Musa Jammeh 24 years old female from the Republic of Gambia, the Daughter of Late Major Musa Jammeh. My late father was Principal Protection Officer to President Yahya Jammeh. He died on the 19 Nov 2007 at the Royal Victoria Teaching Hospital following an illness at Sukuta Village, Kombo North Gambia. You can read more about my father in the link below.

http://www.gambianow.com/news/News/Gambia-News-Major-Musa-Jammeh-Passes-Away.html

I am constrained to contact you because of the maltreatment which I am receiving from my step mother. She planned to take away all my late father's treasury and properties from me since the unexpected death of my beloved Father. Meanwhile I wanted to travel to Europe, but she hide away my international passport and other valuable documents. Luckily she did not discover where I kept my father's File which contained important documents. Now I am presently staying in the Mission Refugee camp in Burkina Faso. I am seeking for long term relationship and investment assistance. My father of blessed memory deposited the sum of US$ 7.5 Million in one bank in Burkina Faso with my name as the next of kin. I had contacted the Bank to clear the deposit but the Branch Manager told me that being a refugee, my status according to the local law does not authorize me to carry out the operation. However, he advised me to provide a trustee who will stand on my behalf. I had wanted to inform my stepmother about this deposit but I am afraid that she will not offer me anything after the release of the money.

Therefore, I decide to seek for your help in transferring the money into your bank account while I will relocate to your country and settle down with you. As you indicated your interest to help me I will give you the account number and the contact of the bank where my late beloved father deposited the money with my name as the next of kin. It is my intention to compensate you with 20% of the total money for your assistance and the balance shall be my investment in any profitable venture which you will recommend to me as have no any idea about foreign investment. Please all communications should be through email for confidential purposes.

Thanking you a lot in anticipation of your quick response. I will give you details in my next mail after receiving your acceptance mail to help me.

Yours sincerely
Miss Cynthia Musa Jammeh

 
Reply:
 
Howdy Cynthia!

I'm dreadfully sorry to hear about your dead dad, what a bummer eh? Although for all i know he might've been a bit of a cunt so maybe we should be celebrating?? Either way it's lovely to hear from you! Your mail did come as a complete surprise yes! I've never had such a correspondance before, how lucky i feel to have been chosen out of all the people on all the internets throughout the world to be the benefiaciary of this truly once in a lifetime experience! However i had another 'once in a lifetime' experience last month which involved a dwarf trying to magnetise my nipples and quite frankly Cynthia that was utterly horrendous. I ended up killing the small man by garroting him with slivers of mouse skin tied together to make a long rope and now i'm up on a charge of dwarf bothering which i could really do without! Hmmpf! I'm absolutely positive that your 'once in a lifetime' opportunity will not turn out anywhere near as horribly as the dwarf incident though.

When i first read your email i shitted in my pants i was that honoured!!! Then i read it again but only had a medium sized wee in my pants as the excitement had subsided a little. By the fifth time of reading i was so totally covered in piss and shit and vomit i looked like Michael Barrymore's grotty fist! No matter i told myself, Cynthia is obviously a woman of great integrity and honour and she won't mind at all if i smell like a tramps balls on a hot day when she finally comes over to 'settle down' with me.

But anyway, on to business!! Before we commence the completely 'risk free' transfer of all your money into my bank i have a small request: in order to furnish you with my details i require a photograph of you wearing a Roman Centurians helmet whilst holding a sign saying 'I have a naughty tuppence'. Only then can we do the business.

Yours sincerely,
Niesche. 

1 comment:

  1. Nice reply, Welcome to the world of scam baiting.

    ReplyDelete