About Me

On a mission to spam the spammers. With spam.

Saturday, 23 May 2015


I came across this website the other day: http://www.raisingtheskirt.com/about.html
Have a read (it's totally NSFW by the way). I did. Then i sent them this:

Dear Nicola,

First of all congratulations on your successful ‘raising the skirt’ workshops, from the photographs on your website they sure look like a lot of cunt-staring fun! What a set of cunts! You're not only displaying your cunts, you are by your actions personifying them and projecting their power outwards through your very being on a profoundly moving level. You are literally 'being' cunts, and that's a beautiful thing. Your work is so inspiring and I feel compelled to open up my inner soul to you and to lay bare my personal vision of cunt wonderment. I must confess though that although I do feel a very personal connection to your work, my own ‘cunt’ needs a bit of work to be honest as it is actually much more like a ‘penis’. Ok, it is actually a ‘penis’, but if I tuck my balls between my legs and then squeeze the sides of my jap’s eye so it opens a bit, then get someone to look at it from a distance through binoculars while squinting their eyes, it could pass as a cunt I reckon. And wouldn’t that be wonderful? ‘Cunt-derful’ even? Me, a male human, sharing my inner cunt, my bell-end cunt, symbolic of the alpha and omega with the balls representing Adam the first man and my cock-cunt jap’s eye as Doreen the last biblical woman opening ‘her’self up to shower the world in glorious femi-juice. I feel that with your expertise and experience you can help me finally realise my dream of being a 'total' cunt.

Your work also reminded of the words of Margaret Phillllling, the 17th Century white witch, who wrote the famous ‘cunt-grimoire’ magical text - ‘Spastic Jam and Other Treatise on Witchdom’. She first invoked the 5 words of feminine power, which are more relevant now than ever: Cunt, Tipple, Fruitcake, NibNib, Bobbin and of course, Titties. According to Maggie’s magic book, when spoken together really fast (like you’re one of those rappers or something) these words provide the power of a thousand winds which can be used to blow away the shackles of male repression and furnish you with the freedom to set about abolishing the nasty patriarchy forever!

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I think the next logical step on your road to cunt domination is to open the workshops up to other men of my ilk so we can join in the fight to reclaim the cunt and to present it back to society as the weather-controlling magic orifice it always has been. Maybe us like minded femi-men could gaze in wonder at all the cunts on display and worship them by chucking milk out of a window or something. Then the women could piss on us, further reinforcing the power of the cunt over the penis but then our peniseses would transform into mini-cunts and we could stand in a line and again squeeze the sides of the jap’s eye so it ‘talks’ like a mouth and ventriloquize it saying stuff like ‘it's a piss disaster my cunt master’ or ‘ladywinners, shower us with cuntfetti!’.  
Alternatively, maybe look to get some sponsorship from the world of showbiz, and publicise your movement a bit. You could even turn the whole concept of cunt-power on its head by having a total cunt like Piers Morgan endorse you thus raising your profile while at the same time striking a sarcastic ‘blow’ to the figurehead of patriarchal cunts everywhere. This would surely be the perfect triumph over misogynistic wankers the world over as a truly post-modern ‘blow’ job delivered to an enormous ‘cock’.   

Anyway, have a think.


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